Month: July 2017

This topic has long been on my mind, and I’ve been meaning to write about childhood memories, experiences and such, and now seems as good a time as any. I received a text from my mom yesterday (I was at work, else it would have been a call) that my uncle had passed away while in hospice care after a lengthy battle with cancer. It was an expected death obviously, and my uncle by all appearances, has had a good life. He raised three beautiful, successful girls, has several grandchildren, and came from a prolific, tight-knit family. At least, we used to be…

So, after talking via text to Mom for a bit, I started thinking about my uncle and the last time I had seen him. And, I struggled to remember. It had to be at least six years ago, if not longer…

As a child growing up in New England, I felt as if my family was exceptionally close. My maternal grandparents were my rock. I, at the time, had a step-parent who was,(for reasons I still don’t understand), unkind and borderline abusive to me, and my grandparents were always there for me. I spent every weekend with them, and my life as I knew it, literally revolved around those weekends. I’d be excited and filled with anticipation on Fridays, knowing they were going to pick me up from school, and literally sick to my stomach on Sunday afternoons, knowing I had to return home. I traveled with them on summer vacations to Florida (even winter vacations when I was young and could be pulled out of school) and that is a very large part of why I live here now. But some of my fondest memories are of the holidays. The ENTIRE family got together at my grandparents house. Aunts, uncles, cousins, pets, extended family, family friends… you name it, we all were there. Even after my grandfather died, my grandmother remained the matriarch, keeping the family together, until she was no longer able to do so. And I guess that’s when everything changed.

Maybe it’s just that I grew up, or perhaps its this crazy world that we now live in, but it seems as if my family, once so close and loving, has been scattered to the ends of the earth. Some of my cousins, I haven’t seen since my grandmothers 80th birthday, almost 31 years ago. My newly lost uncle – I haven’t sen him or his family in 6+ years. I’ve never even met some of my cousins’ children… I rarely hear from any of my extended family either, with the exception of the occasional post on Facebook. (What would any of us do without that damn Facebook?) I am not blameless. I am fairly introverted and don’t reach out to many. If I don’t hear from you, I presume you don’t want to hear from me. Foolish, perhaps, but it’s how my mind works. Less than optimal experiences in my formative years I suppose. But my uncles death just got me to reminiscing and grieving not only for him, but for all of my family, both living and deceased, and the closeness we as an extended family all once had. And for the first time in a very long time, I am feeling bereft, and so lonely…

Why do we, as families, drift so far apart??

Do any of you love to read? I read voraciously and am always looking for a new title or series to read. In the course of my searching, I have stumbled across many new authors by subscribing to free and discounted book sites, which offer up new and upcoming authors books at discounted prices. In addition, you can also find well established authors as well, such as Nora Roberts, or Lee Child, for example. My favorite sites are BookBub, Bookperk, and Bargain Booksy. I am seldom disappointed with the books I find, and often find myself then purchasing the remainder of a set or series by these new authors.

One such example is the book I am reading now, by an author I’d never heard of, Kate Flora. (I should add as a side note that I love police procedurals and mystery books, although I’m not above a good romance or feel good story from time to time either!).

I picked up this book at a discounted price (a dollar or two) and within reading the first chapter, I knew that Kate was going to have a solid place on my readers shelf (well, a collection on my e-reader, but you get the idea). The story grabs you and sucks you in. When I’m finished I will write a formal review, but needless to say, I have already purchased the other 4 book in the series. If you like Lucas Davenport, Jack Reacher, and the like, you’ll very much enjoy Joe Burgess! Now I’m headed straight back to my book! Too warm to be outside today anyway!

I’m adding this MUCH later as I somehow got away from this blogging thing, but here is a review for Kate Flora…

Led Astray – Kate Flora

I received this book (electronic version) at a discounted price from Bookbub, it sounded like my kind of story (I LOVE police procedurals) and I thought for $1.99, I would give it a try. All I can say is WOW! I was not disappointed. I believe I was barely into Chapter 2 when I immediately went to Amazon and purchased the entire series (5 books to date).
Joe Burgess is a detective sergeant in Portland, ME, with a reputation for being “Portland’s meanest cop”, who responds to a ‘shots fired’ call and finds mayhem upon his arrival. One officer is dead, and another is gravely wounded, and no one is certain why war is being waged on the police. The ensuing story is mesmerizing as Joe and his team investigate the scene and the situation. As another commanding officer goes missing, Joe and his team struggle to find him, identify and catch the perpetrator and bring peace back to Portland.
The characters are memorable, realistic, believable and very enjoyable, with each character enmeshed in their own personal problems as well. The dialogue is true to form and had me laughing out loud at times, as the exhausted investigative crew bantered amongst themselves. If you enjoy Lucas Davenport (Sandford), Alex Cross (Patterson), JP Beaumont (Jance) & Jack Reacher (Child), then you will definitely want to add Joe Burgess to your bookshelves!!

I’ve wanted to write for a while. My head is filled constantly with random thoughts, things that interest me, (“Oh, I should google that when I get home”) and lately, memories of my childhood, that can come out of nowhere and take my breath away.  It seems as if turning 50 last year has been a major milestone for me, mentally and emotionally. I’m finally at that point where I know that I’m not invincible any longer, and that there’s more time behind me than there is ahead of me. It’s a very sobering thought and I find myself becoming very introspective and sad at times at these realizations.

I probably should preface that by saying that I am a nurse. I see the worst case scenarios with many a patient and many an illness and I am often left to wonder what is going to happen to me as I age.  Will I even have the chance to grow ‘old’?  We, as nurses, are severely short staffed now – will there even be someone to care for me if and when I need it? And the horrors that come from the thought that one day I WILL most definitely need it. Certain patients and the things they endured in an effort to get well – they haunt me sometimes. Craziness! It can also be hard to find happiness in the ever crazy world we now live in. (Told ya, I ramble!!)

As I was strolling along the beach this AM awaiting the sunrise, these thoughts and more crowded into my head, along with random thoughts, things like “where have all the seashells gone, it seems as if there were so many when I was a kid’, ‘I really don’t want to go to work tomorrow’, ‘oh look, a new sea turtle nest’, ‘where are all of the dead jellyfish coming from’, “I really need to write a review for that book I just read’, ‘I really should just get my head in gear and start writing – or blogging – about all of this!’.  Then I wonder about the blog – will anyone read it? Am I boring? How will people find me? Do I want them to? What if they ‘figure out’ it’s me? And do I care?  Ahhh, the life of a type A , private introvert…

So without further ado, here we go! Maybe you’ll find me, maybe you wont. Maybe I’ll get bored in a week and will have wasted the $$ I spent to get this thing up and running, but maybe I wont….

OMJ – just went to post this, hit a wrong button, and thought I lost it forever. They joys of being old-er and trying to learn some new software… (sigh).